I can’t think straight because my heart is hurting. I think I do so much for so many people. It’s a slippery slope. Going up then down. Keeping strong,smiling enough….when I love myself…I know this not making any sense….it’s my heart. When I give to an extent and no one says thank you. I know I’m pitying myself. But why aren’t allow to? Do I have to be made of steal. When the person closest to me shuts out,it cuts deep. When every precious part of my positive energy is neglected, seemingly tossed away because he’s in his own head. I have to love myself. It seem so easy to tell other people that but when I need someone. No one is there. I don’t push people away. I’m crying this hurts. It never gets easier.
I can’t stop crying maybe I don’t want anyone to see me this way. I’m I the only one? I understand myself. I’m so heart broken. If my philosophy in life is flawed. My mantra-give to others, so you can give to yourself.is this stupid and niaeve of me? I’m talking myself. Trying understand why.
I wish I didn’t feel so alone. When it really counts where is anyone? My emotions are raw and untamed right now.
Someone tell me…I’m I too sensitive, should I be this deep?
I guess this is up to me. I just can’t stop crying, when the only person I try to be there for pushes me away. When will I get my day? I can’t tell you why I’m breaking but just know that I love myself….I just wish there was someone listening to me.