Feel ME- Free ME

Destruction

what i meant to say is my mind is not here ,what i meant to say is i’m lost out here 

i’m crashing hard leaving trails of destruction

what if life is it all one big dream …looking down… can i fly? Because if this a huge dream I want to start over

fields of lost memories
broken dreams
i’m bleeding inside and no one sees and i don’t dare  say it

in time
no significance …no time
i write ,think,believe that this blood will be gone ,stop destroying me

although i keep on resisting i keep seeing things in slow motion
I choke…get caught up….give me wings…set me free 

when did this become my fate …..
they say you have a choice
where do I go to ask for another mind and body?

because its some fucked up shit….tell me again that we have a choice….maybe one day you will suffer too given a “choice”

and then tell me you understand because you don’t,  fuck you if you think life is as easy as flipping a switch

end emotion

begin again

lost love i miss you …..more in my dreams

you live always near me,in my mind you surround me, in my heart you live in me

twin flames …we will fly again

this is the only fate i believe in ..its you

you know i said its true ,i do feel it too

I CAN FEEL IT ALL             SEE IT ALL     Believe in love because I’ll never lose you to love

ALWAYS in me…I feed you even when I am not in sight

realign….begin again…it will be so

This entry is sporadic and  abstract and very human. I will not destroy any emotion because it does not please someone.  I wish with all my strength that I can muster inside that things would be different . I wish. Please continue to believe in me. Life is short. I want to live in this moment. Although I want to stop time. I want to grow wings and fly so far away.I want to live in a dream where you live.

I do not want to be in pain. I am devoted to my disease trying to feed my endometriosis…scratch that I KILLING IT! I am winning this war! Faith…I prayed tonight, not to a god or “the god”, no -to the universe-YELLING- release me! Free me. Feed me. Give me life.

When do I get to decide-don’t answer that.

Feed me your love……………………………………………………………………………………..

Still Alive-Always because of love.